One of the biggest spiritual struggles I have had this year is just not understanding God. To the point where I had some serious doubts. I mean, if God isn’t real, living this way (as a Christian) is a total waste of time. But if God is real, living in any other way is unthinkable. So where did I go from here with so many thoughts swimming around in my finite mind?
I mean how do you answer the questions I was struggling with? What happens if He is not real? How can I be constantly happy? Why haven’t I fallen madly in love yet? Why do I care too much what others think? Will I always live my life for you Jesus? Why shouldn’t people marry and love anyone they want? Why is there hunger? Orphans? Cancer? Addictions that claims the lives of those we love? Hatred? Abuse?
So many questions, with so little answers.
Isaiah 55: 8-9, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Months of searching, and really I had no answers, except that his ways are so much higher than our ways. I simply don’t have the capability of understanding the ways of the maker of heaven and earth. I don’t claim to know the right answers, and highly respect those of other beliefs. But I do know one thing, through it all Jesus was the one person who brought me hope. He was the one person I cringed to in my wanderings. Without him, there is very little hope. But he came to give us the fullest life possible.
John 10: 10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have if abundantly.”
With much love and care,
P.S. Check out Lauren Dangle’s song on YouTube “Trust in You.” Such a beautiful song about how she goes one praising God even when he doesn’t give all the answers.