Let’s be Real Here

Do you ever see people who are just so happy all the time that it’s almost irritating? Like, seriously, do they never have a bad day? I know, I should be happy that they are so happy, but in my heart of hearts it just doesn’t always seem real. I realize naming my blog The Joyful Nurse could put me in that irritatingly happy category, but I want to bring some reassurance to you. I am so joyful because I have Christ in my life, but the struggles are real here people. Yesterday I went downtown with some of my friends. I never expected what would have happened. My friend Allie was sharing some things that really struck my heart strings. She was sharing how she read a book and there was a chapter about being really liked by people, but not really known by people. And before I knew it, I was tearing up. In public. I really wish I didn’t have my emotions so closely attached to my tear ducts. Its truly embarrassing. But what God did was pretty amazing. We all walked down towards the greenway by the river and decided to go deep and share our stories with one another. The still water and setting sun was a comfort to my soul. These women blessed me in a way I had no idea I needed, by just providing a space for me to share my story with them and the ups and downs of this past year. I realized that I hadn’t been brave enough to be really vulnerable with women in a while. I also realized that I want to reach out to other women and hear their stories and remind them of God’s unfailing faithfulness. Last night I woke up really early with a poem God had put on my heart, so I thought I would be brave and share it here with you. I realize that by posting this in a public place co-workers, friends, and family may be reading this. So thank you. Know if you need someone to share your story with that I am a safe place and would love nothing more than to sit and listen and laugh together. Now you may have to give me some grace here as I’m really not the best at poetry, but here goes. Let’s be Real here.

“Joy isn’t the only thing in my life

Though at times I wish it was

Through trials and hardships God refines me

Even though the world seeks to overtake me

Depression, anxiety, fear, and insecurity

They haunt me and taunt me

They make me want me more than you Lord

Oh Lord let me seek you and find you

Because when I stand alone I fail again and again

But when I am weak you have space to be strong in me

You have freedom to overtake me and make me new

My joy Oh Lord only comes from you”

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